Why is it so hard to get started?

(Wow! two posts in one day... I wonder if anybody actually reads this stuff, though!)

After reading Troy's and Heather's blogs, and a few others that link from them to other places, (such as Faith In Fiction) I've become really interested in writing again. I say again, as I haven't written anything substantial for the last year or so.

Over the years there have been numerous ideas. Stories that came and go. I think they were ok ideas - at least, I could see they weren't too bad. General pulp fiction in a lot of ways, but hey, I'm no pro! Maybe something got started. Maybe the ideas just stayed in my head, residing in the Buena Vista Social Club of the mind. Waiting to be rediscovered, happy just to exist. Why is it so hard to get started?

Music, songs, short stories, devotions, prayers. Nothing seems good enough, evenly polished, "right". Never totally happy with letting go, half finished creations stand in my frail shadow, glaring at my inner eyes. Their yearning for the light can be strong. Desire for the acceptance of my creativity and expression is overpowering. My pride and fear of failure is crushing. The tension is unbareable. I am the tightrope upon which judgement walks: is he just technically skilled at what he does, or is it art? Learned tricks of balance, or beautiful movement suspended high in the air? Why is it so hard to get started?

I read recently that the people who think of themselves as creative, are actully the most creative. This I can definately work on. Think of myself as creative? Having something to offer? Something good? That's a challenge.

TC & GB, pk